Ray Bradbury said, ""

Monday, December 10, 2007
Day Two of The Isiah's Devious Online Dating Scheme

I've already had two interesting and fun conversations with women who embody my feminine ideals of self-respect, intelligence, and sarcasm (update 3:26 a.m. I just spent the last 5 hours talking to an inhumanly sweet and intelligent woman who, I am sure, could kick Horatio Algers' ass).

But the simultaneity of online dating services disturbs me. It feels immoral to communicate with more than one woman at a time. Immoral in the way a man would be were he to bring a woman to a bar and then multi-task his flirtations. Now, the site The Isiah chose has a wise policy of instantly banning people who send sexual messages, and good pervert-filtering mechanisms, but it still feels wrong to strike up multiple conversations. It might just be my own quirk.

I find the ads more disturbing. The founder of the site tries very hard to remove the sleaze factor and provide women a pheromone-free atmosphere, yet demeaning ads for "sex personals" and "housewife personals" appear. Why the schizoid policy? A dating site ought to have as its most important criterion, the creation of a pervert-free environment. The most accurate statistical methods and pattern-matching algorithms cannot save a site that makes people uncomfortable.

One more gripe, directed at myself: Another personality assessment classified me as an "erotophobe," someone who is almost completely repulsed by casual sexuality devoid of love. This either makes me a freak or the last chivalrous man outside a nursing home. I suspect the difference is minute. While I act positively prudish and reluctant, other guys are fathering children like rabbits. Which trait do you think will spread more rapidly?

Posted by: Tom "The Pooklekufr" Treloar at December 10, 2007 22:43 EST | Permalink | comments (4) |
life, introspection

Comments open but moderated. I reserve permission to kill spammers on sight.


Comments:
#1  10 December 2007 - 23:38
 
Um. You sound like you have solid morals. That is a good thing, so why worry? I think the kind of woman you seem to want will want the same things you want, no?

Try Match.Com., if you haven't yet. And in regards to the multiple flirting thing, think of this way...you are just "conversing" via email and shortly you will discover with whom you prefer "conversing".

Now I am going to read my silly romances and relax after a long day of studying Hawaiian grammar.

A.
User: RomaCittaEterna Contact me View user's mediablog RomaCittaEterna
#2  12 December 2007 - 16:16
 
That is a terrible label, and you seem like a nice guy which is a much better label.

Anyway... online dating must be on a lot of people's minds lately - I'm seeing a lot of posts out there on the topic. Maybe because of the holidays? I posted about it too. Weird.

Try to have fun with it and I hope you meet someone nice and in the ballpark of what you're looking for.
Anonymous
#3  12 December 2007 - 16:48
 
I'm going to give it a shot, though I don't know if I'm bold enough to actually meet anyone I find there.

At least online, no one can hear you stammer or slur your words into a vaguely Australian accent. Or throw things at you.

I think the label is probably apt. I had been without a single relationship for the 6 years prior to meeting my former fiancee, and never noticed that I had a lonely life. And I didn't feel comfortable with her touching me until we both stated our feelings for each other. And I couldn't feel comfortable with sex unless I had given her an orgasm first (way too much information, here). This either makes me a freak or a relic.
User: Pooklekufr Contact me View user's mediablog Pooklekufr
#4  14 December 2007 - 01:19
 
Someone is going to be very lucky to win your heart.

Please continue sharing your online dating adventures. I find them immensely interesting. Like reading a romance novel written by a man.

*Grins*

You know how I love romance novels.

*Dusts off Pookie's cynic mask and hands it to him*
User: RomaCittaEterna Contact me View user's mediablog RomaCittaEterna
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