Lazy Sunday Pseudo-Random Thoughts
I would like to have been a 19th century teratologist. It sounds like a job where you may not be able to keep any food down, but you'll still be rewarded by the gratitude of the Lovecraftian monstrosities you are studying.
One of my goals in life is to have a gargle of pugs. I do not know if this is a necessary or sufficient condition for having lived a decent life, so I kind of fear the day I shall have acquired as many pugs as I can. On that day, what if G-d decides my life is complete?
Do not touch Jim Morrison, no matter what he says.
If you listen really closely to Dizzy Gillespie's song "Slew Foot" on his live album Sweet Soul Live, you will hear at 3:25 a person yell "fuck!" and then fall into the piano. Dizzy meant for that to happen; that is how great a musician he was.
I now have a shelf full of spaghetti, a freezer full of coffee, a microwave weighed down with garlic, and much of one shelf of my fridge full of peaches. Kids, this is what happens when you are single: you realize that you can eat your favorite food every single day. Thank G-d I happen to like real food; I can only imagine that somewhere out there a bachelor is starving himself to death while eating through a closet full of calorie-free yogurt.
The protozoan Toxoplasma gondii, the same that causes toxoplasmosis in pregnant cat-lovers, has been shown to cause personality changes in both humans and rats. In rats, it causes them to lose their fear of the scent of cat, and even become attracted to it; it also causes rats to become less fearful in general. In humans, it causes males to become more spontaneous, carefree, physical, and impulsive; it causes women to become more kindhearted and motherly. This is more evidence that cats are our overlords, using advanced genetic engineering to subjugate our planet.
The LD-50 of caffeine is about one cup of coffee per kilogram body weight. There. Stop complaining about the evils of "one too many" cups of coffee. Unless you are an anorexic supermodel or dwarf, Starbucks will not kill you.
In every ethnic group, there are doubtless a few who are capable of space colonization. This subset will, however, not be at all like the ethnic group. Regionalistic tensions, the desire to see "one of us!" in space, will not alone help raise support of space travel. Can you imagine how hard it would be to convince an Inuit family that the Inuit selected for a mission will preserve their customs, when he is seen splashed all over the media speaking a Californian accent and sporting a duck's ass 'do?
L.Q. Jones built the 70's. While our politicians screwed around, our academia collapsed, and our economy died in a blizzard of holistic crystal therapy, he alone carried the decade on his Atlas-like shoulders.
I've always wanted to buy a large piezo-electric crystal and turn it into a hippie death gun. "Oh, you like crystals? Here, put this crystal next to your ear... [the crystal vibrates at the resonant frequency of his hippy skull]"
Posted by: Tom "The Pooklekufr" Treloar at October 28, 2007 09:41 EST |
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