Ray Bradbury said, ""

Tuesday, April 24, 2007
A Blogging Philosophy

"What happens online, stays online. Forever."

If you don't believe me, your google-fu is weak, my child.

Given that every word written online is eternal and accessible to anyone marginally more patient than a crackhead, there are a couple truths a blogger must acknowledge:

1. No blogger will ever (sans Satanic deal) be elected President, Senator, Governor, or even the position of dog catcher. You commit political suicide with your first blog post. Why? Because if you have blogged at all you have produced too many words that will be used against you. A traceable history of yay-nay votes are the reason the legislative branch produces so few presidents. Imagine if those yay-nay votes were replaced by highly opinionated, invective strewn rants with the occassional kitten thrown at the Speaker. You get my point.

2. As Thoreau never said, "the vast majority of mean lead lives desperately concealing their opinions from their fellows." In person, we all try somewhat to conceal our loathing of our neighbors and their beliefs. This self-restraint is the KY jelly that lubricates the nude wrestling match that is civilization. It disappears in the anonymity of the internet. Don't believe me? I will bet money that Misha is (somewhat) softer spoken in person, and lives in constant fear that his pastor's wife will read his blog and faint. Mix the Law of Large Numbers with the Law of Six Degrees, and your blog is almost certain to be read by someone you know who you'd rather not read it.

These truths force a blogger to decide between honesty and deceit, integrity and Barack Obama. He can either acknowledge that he has no political future and is in the constant danger of a reprimanding call from his mother, and proceed to publish his opinions and pictures of sexy llamas even more fearlessly; or he can write a blog with all the controversy of Mr. Rogers. A blogger must choose whether to expose his opinions or let them shrink against his lower belly as if it were a chilly day.

Only those brave enough to bare their opinions and kitten pictures, get to go to Valhalla. Keep that in mind.

Posted by: Tom "The Pooklekufr" Treloar at April 24, 2007 16:10 EST | Permalink | comments |
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